The last few days have been really busy, so I’ll do a little round up to cover what’s been up.
Health:
As for the husband and his not feeling well, here’s the current diagnosis:
Waking up at night not breathing. Shortness of breath, wheezing when exerted.
Exhausted. Loss of appetite. Pain in armpit, down arm, numbness in hand.
Severe pain in knees. His doctor died last month. So we went to another doctor, who hubby wasn’t thrilled with. Test were done: EKG, fine. Chest X Ray, fine.
Asthma test (done in the am before he did anything), fine. Blood tests not back yet.
430 bucks later, new doctor say "reflux" is at the root of all his problems. WTF?
Guests:
On Sunday an old friend I haven’t seen in years was in the area. We met when our now adult kids went to preschool together. Though I knew she had become a born again right wing fundy since I saw her last, I agreed to allow her in my presence.
She wasn’t too bad and she didn’t try to convert me.
Who was bad was her six year old daughter (from her second marriage, I love that; remarried fundies oppose gay marriage because it will ruin her second one…)
Anyway… the kid is beautiful, but an obnoxious little bitch who dominates every conversation. I expected this, first, because the friends grown daughter was the exact same way, and second, because the six year old insisted on stopping at Kmart to get a brand new outfit before they came to our house – and I don’t mean before, I mean she saw Kmart on the way here and demanded her mother stop and shop -and the mom agreed.
I spent some time with the kid, chatted with her, showed her the garden; let her pick some stuff to take home, etc. At dinner we all listened intently as the child dominated the meal. After dinner the little girl was shaking my arm demanding I do this and that. I said, no, it’s time for me to visit with mommy now. This obviously didn’t thrill her, so she came around the side of my chair, wrapped her little arms around mine, and while smiling at me, pinched the underside on my upper arm with her little claws as hard as she could.
Now this may sound dumb, that that freaking 6 year old can pinch. That tender under arm skin now has 2 dime sized bruises. Black bruises.
The mother’s response?
“Oh, did she pinch you? She does that when she wants attention. And she can pinch hard, can’t she?” Yeah, like I didn’t notice as my arm turned red and started to swell.
That was it.
And this is why I really don’t like kids anymore. They act like freaking monsters and their parents just let them do it. They ruin every occasion with their precocious overbearing and demanding antics.
Next time born again and monster child are “in the area” I won’t be taking their call.
Enough said.
Garden:
While the temperature reaches well into the 90’s, I have been standing over a stove with boiling water and food in my face. A real hot chore now, but a real pleasure all winter long. In the past week I have done:
36 quarts of homemade spaghetti sauce
200 ears of corn (29 freezer bags)
30 jars of salsa
On the agenda for the next week:
Hot pepper jelly
Sweet pepper strips
More spaghetti sauce
Pictures:
My camera is on the blink, so sorry there haven’t been pictures. I will have to mess with the camera when I have time.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Lancaster County Amish and Mennonites
I recently watched a video titled "The Real Wives of Lancaster County" (link at bottom). Knowing the Amish don't get on camera (or have mirrors- to discourage a likeness, or idolatry, or vanity problem). Of course it was a fabricated joke poking fun at the Amish and Mennonites.
Having grown up in Lancaster County, I know a bit about the people and never get their differentness much thought. I still live among many Mennonites and Amish. Their clothes and lifestyles may be different from mainstream, but they are a good people and don't try to push their beliefs down anyones throats.
The coolest thing about their groups is that they take care of one another. When a local barn burned down the Amish men had no insurance. The Amish and Mennonites don't need it. Their church is their insurance. The church people will not only help pay to rebuild, they will show up with tool bag in hand and rebuild with you -free of charge.
When a church member faces an illness or disease, they get modern medical care. Though they don't have Blue Cross or any other form of coverage, they are never left bankrupt. If the cost is beyond their means, the church members chip in to assure their bills are paid.
The Amish educate their children via a one room school house located in a central area to their farms and homes. The schools are built, paid for and maintained by the Amish. The kids attend school until 8th grade, and then go out into the world to work, or work on the home farm or business. Though they lack as much education as your average "Englishmen," they learn the skills needed to live their simple lives (advanced education leads to too much pride, wandering off, etc.). I will say, however, that I've never met an Amish kid who couldn't add, subtract, take money and give you correct change. Though I have met many an "educated" kid who couldn't do the same (even with a calculator). You can see the kids walking, riding bike or rollerblading to school and back. They are so very cute, and they like to wave at everyone.
The Mennonites -because of their cars, generally have larger schools. Their children are usually brought to school and picked up by mom and dad. Their schools usually go to 12th grade.
Mennonite women wear many colors of clothes, though within each church a particular style is generally approved for all women. This allows the women to select many patterns of material while keeping all of the women dressed in an equally conservative and uniform manner. The Mennonites, like the Amish, never cut their hair (saved for the husband) and always have a covering on. Mennonite men generally wear jeans or pants and always and a long sleeve button down shirt, for modesty -even in summer.
Amish women dress in black. Sometimes they wear brightly colored aprons -usually a bright blue or bold purple. Neither sex has buttons or zippers (too worldly), their dresses are held together by straight pins, eyes and hooks. Their hair is never cut (Corinthians 6). They always wear a covering, tied in the back if unmarried, tied in the front if married. Amish men shave until marriage, after wed they allow their beards to grow long (shaving mustaches and lower lip areas only). Thus, one is never confused about the marital status on an Amish person. Amish men wear black pants, a button down shirt (often in the same bold blues and purples) and a church approved hat (for uniformity- generally straw, various churches select the size of the brim).
The Amish are not as backward as most would assume. They work and interact with the general public - "The English," throughout their lives. Besides their clothes, all of the Amish I know are just like anyone else. Though their religion is a huge part of their lives, including controlling many aspects of it, they don't preach about and try to convert people to become Amish, like the evangelicals are always doing.
While most Mennonites drive cars (some only black cars with black bumpers) the Amish still use horse and buggies (a small number of Mennonites drive buggies as well). One local sect prefers flatbed buggies (like on Little House on the Prairie). Mennonites often embrace modern farm equipment, some more conservative sects use modern tractors but they must have metal wheels (to discourage use as transportation). The Amish still embrace use of horse power for both transportation and work.
That silly video:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/13/the-real-housewives-of-la_n_258540.html
Having grown up in Lancaster County, I know a bit about the people and never get their differentness much thought. I still live among many Mennonites and Amish. Their clothes and lifestyles may be different from mainstream, but they are a good people and don't try to push their beliefs down anyones throats.
The coolest thing about their groups is that they take care of one another. When a local barn burned down the Amish men had no insurance. The Amish and Mennonites don't need it. Their church is their insurance. The church people will not only help pay to rebuild, they will show up with tool bag in hand and rebuild with you -free of charge.
When a church member faces an illness or disease, they get modern medical care. Though they don't have Blue Cross or any other form of coverage, they are never left bankrupt. If the cost is beyond their means, the church members chip in to assure their bills are paid.
The Amish educate their children via a one room school house located in a central area to their farms and homes. The schools are built, paid for and maintained by the Amish. The kids attend school until 8th grade, and then go out into the world to work, or work on the home farm or business. Though they lack as much education as your average "Englishmen," they learn the skills needed to live their simple lives (advanced education leads to too much pride, wandering off, etc.). I will say, however, that I've never met an Amish kid who couldn't add, subtract, take money and give you correct change. Though I have met many an "educated" kid who couldn't do the same (even with a calculator). You can see the kids walking, riding bike or rollerblading to school and back. They are so very cute, and they like to wave at everyone.
The Mennonites -because of their cars, generally have larger schools. Their children are usually brought to school and picked up by mom and dad. Their schools usually go to 12th grade.
Mennonite women wear many colors of clothes, though within each church a particular style is generally approved for all women. This allows the women to select many patterns of material while keeping all of the women dressed in an equally conservative and uniform manner. The Mennonites, like the Amish, never cut their hair (saved for the husband) and always have a covering on. Mennonite men generally wear jeans or pants and always and a long sleeve button down shirt, for modesty -even in summer.
Amish women dress in black. Sometimes they wear brightly colored aprons -usually a bright blue or bold purple. Neither sex has buttons or zippers (too worldly), their dresses are held together by straight pins, eyes and hooks. Their hair is never cut (Corinthians 6). They always wear a covering, tied in the back if unmarried, tied in the front if married. Amish men shave until marriage, after wed they allow their beards to grow long (shaving mustaches and lower lip areas only). Thus, one is never confused about the marital status on an Amish person. Amish men wear black pants, a button down shirt (often in the same bold blues and purples) and a church approved hat (for uniformity- generally straw, various churches select the size of the brim).
The Amish are not as backward as most would assume. They work and interact with the general public - "The English," throughout their lives. Besides their clothes, all of the Amish I know are just like anyone else. Though their religion is a huge part of their lives, including controlling many aspects of it, they don't preach about and try to convert people to become Amish, like the evangelicals are always doing.
While most Mennonites drive cars (some only black cars with black bumpers) the Amish still use horse and buggies (a small number of Mennonites drive buggies as well). One local sect prefers flatbed buggies (like on Little House on the Prairie). Mennonites often embrace modern farm equipment, some more conservative sects use modern tractors but they must have metal wheels (to discourage use as transportation). The Amish still embrace use of horse power for both transportation and work.
That silly video:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/13/the-real-housewives-of-la_n_258540.html
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Serious iIlness or paranoia?
I got a call from a good friend this morning.
“I just had to call you,” my friend said. “Now, I don’t wanna freak you out or anything, but your husband has been on my mind for a few weeks. I cannot stop thinking about him,” my intuitive friends said as I listened mildly confused.
“I don’t know what’s going on with him, but there’s something wrong with him. You need to get him to a doctor,” she said bluntly.
This comment sent chills down my spine. Yes, indeed, my husband has been having problems. Just last night he went to get acupuncture for some sever pain in his right shoulder, armpit and down his arm. In addition to the pain, he has weakness in the right hand.
The acupuncturist touched his wrist for less than 30 seconds and said, “This is a lung issue. Have you been having any other symptoms? Like wheezing or shortness of Breath?”
Indeed he has: wheezing, shortness of breath, chest pain, excessive tiredness…
I spent a great deal of today online. All of the symptoms combined are indeed symptoms of a lung issue. Words like cancer and tumors and stage I and V cover the screen. Visions of living my life without my companion of more than 25 years fill my head and make me feel like I will vomit, or pass out, or both.
I had these feeling just months ago when the dentist sent him to the oral specialist to check a lesion for mouth cancer. I read every mouth cancer horror story imaginable and spent 2 weeks in a panic while we waited for the result –negative. No cancer. It’s all good.
My mind say, relax, it’s probably something simple, like asthma (which seems like a mild illness after one has read and considered lung cancer as the other option).
My husband’s favorite doctor just passed away. I tried to get him in to see Dr. Best, another good doctor, but Dr. Best has moved on to who knows where. The nurse practitioner I like cannot see him until the end of next week. So, we’ve settled on physician’s assistant, Lori, doctor Saturday at 3:00.
My husband called before he left work. He moaned and groaned about the doctor’s appointment... until I told him about that morning call.
Chills ran down his spine –twice.
First the acupuncture guy, then my friend with psychic tendencies.
He stopped arguing. He’s going.
“I just had to call you,” my friend said. “Now, I don’t wanna freak you out or anything, but your husband has been on my mind for a few weeks. I cannot stop thinking about him,” my intuitive friends said as I listened mildly confused.
“I don’t know what’s going on with him, but there’s something wrong with him. You need to get him to a doctor,” she said bluntly.
This comment sent chills down my spine. Yes, indeed, my husband has been having problems. Just last night he went to get acupuncture for some sever pain in his right shoulder, armpit and down his arm. In addition to the pain, he has weakness in the right hand.
The acupuncturist touched his wrist for less than 30 seconds and said, “This is a lung issue. Have you been having any other symptoms? Like wheezing or shortness of Breath?”
Indeed he has: wheezing, shortness of breath, chest pain, excessive tiredness…
I spent a great deal of today online. All of the symptoms combined are indeed symptoms of a lung issue. Words like cancer and tumors and stage I and V cover the screen. Visions of living my life without my companion of more than 25 years fill my head and make me feel like I will vomit, or pass out, or both.
I had these feeling just months ago when the dentist sent him to the oral specialist to check a lesion for mouth cancer. I read every mouth cancer horror story imaginable and spent 2 weeks in a panic while we waited for the result –negative. No cancer. It’s all good.
My mind say, relax, it’s probably something simple, like asthma (which seems like a mild illness after one has read and considered lung cancer as the other option).
My husband’s favorite doctor just passed away. I tried to get him in to see Dr. Best, another good doctor, but Dr. Best has moved on to who knows where. The nurse practitioner I like cannot see him until the end of next week. So, we’ve settled on physician’s assistant, Lori, doctor Saturday at 3:00.
My husband called before he left work. He moaned and groaned about the doctor’s appointment... until I told him about that morning call.
Chills ran down his spine –twice.
First the acupuncture guy, then my friend with psychic tendencies.
He stopped arguing. He’s going.
Friday, August 7, 2009
cats, bats, automobiles & other going ons
Things are busy right now. There's the garden, the car in the shop, the truck went next, the money went with the two of them. The garden is booming, the bat ladies were here (e.g. I had to clean the house), I have yet to finish those writing assignments, but have found time to join a gym and workout and start yoga classes.
I like being busy, so here you have it: a what I've been up to in pictures:
Three young ladies from Bucknell University came to check out our bats. We have hundreds of them -literally, living under our tin roof. Their intent was to catch the bats in the trap pictured, then take blood samples, check their wings, etc. PA is one of six NE states where bats are dying in massive numbers from a disease called white nose. Unfortunately their equipment was not working properly and all that bats that hit their net escaped, thus we will never know if our bat herd is healthy or on its way out. As much as I dislike the bats living under my roof, with this disease wiping them out I feel sort of protective of them. They eat a gazillion bugs each daily. Not bats, lotsa bugs. UGH.
Today was an exciting day. Despite being pretty close to broke, I splurged on the year end seed sale. Many -kept cool and dry, will be used for next years garden. Some others will be used in holiday gift baskets (I'm always thinking ahead on gifts. I don't have a Visa, and I'm pretty poor most months, so planning ahead helps a lot!).
Yes, there's a reason my dining room table is covered with boxes of really heavy stuff. Under all that weight is two pieces of heavy wax paper with fresh flowers in between. When they've dried a bit, I'll do a post on pressed flowers and all the great things you can do with them (think almost free gift this holiday season).
Our daughters kittens have made this large arborvitaes into a play jungle.
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My husband knows better than to ever buy me flowers. I prefer the kind that grow wild and free. Though my very favorites are Black Eyed Susan's, these wild flowers that were growing on the creek bank (in that eyesore area) will do just fine. Eyesore my ass, I say!
Because it’s almost sauce time (see below), I have been working hard to get the other things in the garden canned and out of the way. Today 16 jars of peach jam and 5 jars of dill pickles we sliced, diced and preserved.
I picked over 100 tomatoes today…you know what that means, right? Sunday is our first makin’ sauce day of the year!
My sister is coming Saturday, so we'll be -weather permitting, kayaking. And maybe making homemade salsa. And having drinks on the deck. And then Sunday -pasta sauce w/ fresh herbs and onions. Yum!
I like being busy, so here you have it: a what I've been up to in pictures:
Three young ladies from Bucknell University came to check out our bats. We have hundreds of them -literally, living under our tin roof. Their intent was to catch the bats in the trap pictured, then take blood samples, check their wings, etc. PA is one of six NE states where bats are dying in massive numbers from a disease called white nose. Unfortunately their equipment was not working properly and all that bats that hit their net escaped, thus we will never know if our bat herd is healthy or on its way out. As much as I dislike the bats living under my roof, with this disease wiping them out I feel sort of protective of them. They eat a gazillion bugs each daily. Not bats, lotsa bugs. UGH.
Today was an exciting day. Despite being pretty close to broke, I splurged on the year end seed sale. Many -kept cool and dry, will be used for next years garden. Some others will be used in holiday gift baskets (I'm always thinking ahead on gifts. I don't have a Visa, and I'm pretty poor most months, so planning ahead helps a lot!).
Yes, there's a reason my dining room table is covered with boxes of really heavy stuff. Under all that weight is two pieces of heavy wax paper with fresh flowers in between. When they've dried a bit, I'll do a post on pressed flowers and all the great things you can do with them (think almost free gift this holiday season).
Our daughters kittens have made this large arborvitaes into a play jungle.
.jpg)
My husband knows better than to ever buy me flowers. I prefer the kind that grow wild and free. Though my very favorites are Black Eyed Susan's, these wild flowers that were growing on the creek bank (in that eyesore area) will do just fine. Eyesore my ass, I say!
Because it’s almost sauce time (see below), I have been working hard to get the other things in the garden canned and out of the way. Today 16 jars of peach jam and 5 jars of dill pickles we sliced, diced and preserved.
I picked over 100 tomatoes today…you know what that means, right? Sunday is our first makin’ sauce day of the year!
My sister is coming Saturday, so we'll be -weather permitting, kayaking. And maybe making homemade salsa. And having drinks on the deck. And then Sunday -pasta sauce w/ fresh herbs and onions. Yum!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Harvest
A second batch of wax beans, onions and potatoes are planted & a first batch of green beans have sprung. While the zucchini finishes begins to die back, they'll eventually make room for a second planting of peas, snow peas, spinach and lettuce for the fall (as those crops like cooler weather).
If you haven't ever grown potatoes, here they are when first dug. The process is simple: Plant a potato, or a section of potato with an eye, into loose soil and cover. When the potato plant grows, mound more dirt around it. Continue this process as the plant gets taller. When the plant dies back, the potatoes are ready to 'pick." Dig through all that dirt and you'll find roots with nice potatoes on the ends. Pick 'em off, wash 'em, dry 'em and enjoy.
The onions were left to dry on screen in the back shed for a few weeks. After drying, I clipped the roots off one end and the tops off the other. We now have a large basket of onions, and a second crop is planted. Though smaller than market onions, the hot ones are hotter and the sweet ones are sweeter than grocery store onions.
The garden is now producing a pile off vegetables daily. I am struggling to keep up, but have managed.
After harvesting, I wash everything and let it dry. This weekend we'll make tomato sauce, pickles and some jelly. Hopefully it'll cool off some before we're doing so much boiling. Either way, the job needs -and will get, done.
On another note -our first year blueberry bushes look pretty bad, but fret not, the black raspberry bushes have come around and look grand, as does the new strawberry patch. Looks like we'll have at least 2 of the three fruits next year.
Friday, July 31, 2009
The neighbor thinks MY yard is an eyesore? Huh?
Remember those edible wildflowers I was writing about? Well...
It seems the M family, who formerly owned our house, are friends and fellow church members of our neighbors, the K family.
I keep hearing gossip that the M family is very unhappy with what we’ve done to “their” house, including fencing in the yard (ugh, yuck) and growing a 12x12 area of “eyesore” & "view blocking" wildflowers on our one acre country plot.
One can only assume the M family and the K family (who live right next door) sit around at their mutual church on Sundays discussing the neighborhood heathens (us) and their ruination of the neighborhood (via our ugly property).
Thus, I assume, is the reason Mrs. K was inspired to show up at our house w/ a boy from church with weed whacker in hand ready to assist us in relieving ourselves of that unsightly weed barren area (actually she was out there w/ said boy and he was already whacking away).
My dear husband, Mr. C, was having none of it and promptly requested Mrs. K and her church lent slave child return to her weed barren property (the overgrown one next door and the one that hasn’t been weed whacked in any fashion in the two years we lived here).
Why the M or the K family would care what we’re doing in our yard, I know not. And I think it takes a lot of nerve to call my weedy area an eyesore, when he K family, right next door, has a yard that looks like this:
The K yard.
My yard -yep, there's that weedy spot on the left. Of course the overgrown, tree covered, nothing at all is mowed or kept belongs to, you guessed it, the K family.
Their garden.
My Garden w/ horrid fence in background.
I cannot help but wonder why the M family and the K family don't have anything better to do with their born again Christian judgemental, gossiping selves than worry about our yard...there is a reason I belong to the faithless. People like this are it.
I really must get myself a load of gay pride flags and pentagrams and hang them about -just to freak them out. Or other such fun stuff. Would that be sheer fun, or simply childish?
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Husband and Wife & What's in Between Us
We got my dog Moses (aka Momo or just plain Mo) when he was only 5 ½ weeks old. There were four other dogs in the house at the time and poor little Mo, who was only 8 little pounds, was always getting stomped on and tripped up by four much larger dogs.
Thus, we started putting little Mo in the “big bed” for naps and night time sleep. Three years and 72 pounds later, that’s still where he sleeps.
The sleep situation created a blanket situation where, once the dog plopped down in the middle of us, the blankets would be divided in half by his weight, and one, or both of us, ended up sleeping with a corner of a blanket, or no blanket at all.
This situation has been resolved. We now have our own separate blankets. Hubby uses that truly ugly (but very comfy) blue fuzzy blanket with horses on it, and I get the light summer bedspread (and when it’s colder, a heavier down comforter).
Before we go to bed we have to make sure we mess it up and separate the two blankets or one of us has to find something else to cover up, because once he’s comfortable, Moses isn’t going anywhere. Trust me, we’ve tried. If we toss him out of the bed he just waits until we’re quiet and tiptoes back in. He never ever jumps into bed, he always tiptoes (he also uses the tiptoe technique when he wants to run off, tiptoe, tiptoe, looks back, are they watching? I say, I can see you Mo, his face says oh crap! as he trots back to the group).
We're down to three dogs. Honey, our giant 120 pound lab, prefers a spot on the floor on my side of the bed (where I can, and frequently do, trip on her if I have to visit the little girls room at 3 am).
Gus (seen on the floor at the end of the bed) is perfectly content to sleep on an old blanket.
But Mo, he sleeps in the middle. Every night. Like it or not, the man and I have an 80 pound dog between us for the rest of his days. We've gotten used to it and, despite the inconvenience, kind of like having him there.
Thus, we started putting little Mo in the “big bed” for naps and night time sleep. Three years and 72 pounds later, that’s still where he sleeps.
The sleep situation created a blanket situation where, once the dog plopped down in the middle of us, the blankets would be divided in half by his weight, and one, or both of us, ended up sleeping with a corner of a blanket, or no blanket at all.
This situation has been resolved. We now have our own separate blankets. Hubby uses that truly ugly (but very comfy) blue fuzzy blanket with horses on it, and I get the light summer bedspread (and when it’s colder, a heavier down comforter).
Before we go to bed we have to make sure we mess it up and separate the two blankets or one of us has to find something else to cover up, because once he’s comfortable, Moses isn’t going anywhere. Trust me, we’ve tried. If we toss him out of the bed he just waits until we’re quiet and tiptoes back in. He never ever jumps into bed, he always tiptoes (he also uses the tiptoe technique when he wants to run off, tiptoe, tiptoe, looks back, are they watching? I say, I can see you Mo, his face says oh crap! as he trots back to the group).
We're down to three dogs. Honey, our giant 120 pound lab, prefers a spot on the floor on my side of the bed (where I can, and frequently do, trip on her if I have to visit the little girls room at 3 am).
Gus (seen on the floor at the end of the bed) is perfectly content to sleep on an old blanket.
But Mo, he sleeps in the middle. Every night. Like it or not, the man and I have an 80 pound dog between us for the rest of his days. We've gotten used to it and, despite the inconvenience, kind of like having him there.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
I Scream, You Scream: A Story
Of course you recall our guests from a few weeks back, kid one and kid two. Well, they’ve returned –but this time, just for a visit with their kid mom, BB, to celebrate a bountiful harvest.
Kid Mom, BB, is ever so grateful to Mr. Strong, Tuff & Macho (aka my husband)for braving the sweet corn patch on her behalf. After seeing that snake in her garden, there was no way, no how, that BB was going near her corn patch.
But Mr. Strong, Tuff and Macho was not afraid. He fearlessly took to the corn jungle and returned with a pot of yellow gold for dear BB, who will now be able to feast on Maize without getting anywhere near a slithering serpant.
In her gratitude, BB bestowed ice cream to the brave man, and his family, and kid one and kid two.
Kid one celebrated the now abundant supply of corn by slurping ice cream through a straw.
Unconcerned about the harvested crop, dogs one and two focused their attention on trying to telekenetically swipe a cone from kid 2 (who bravely fought off their great magical powers).
Kid two wins. Or so he thinks...
Dog three says to haties with telekenetic powers. I'll just lick your face. Swipe.
The End
Kid Mom, BB, is ever so grateful to Mr. Strong, Tuff & Macho (aka my husband)for braving the sweet corn patch on her behalf. After seeing that snake in her garden, there was no way, no how, that BB was going near her corn patch.
But Mr. Strong, Tuff and Macho was not afraid. He fearlessly took to the corn jungle and returned with a pot of yellow gold for dear BB, who will now be able to feast on Maize without getting anywhere near a slithering serpant.
In her gratitude, BB bestowed ice cream to the brave man, and his family, and kid one and kid two.
Kid one celebrated the now abundant supply of corn by slurping ice cream through a straw.
Unconcerned about the harvested crop, dogs one and two focused their attention on trying to telekenetically swipe a cone from kid 2 (who bravely fought off their great magical powers).
Kid two wins. Or so he thinks...
Dog three says to haties with telekenetic powers. I'll just lick your face. Swipe.
The End
Monday, July 27, 2009
Queen Anne's Lace: Edible plant, yes. Edible birth control?
Another plant often considered nothing but a nuisance weed is Queen Anne’s Lace, a hardy flowering perennial with many edible parts.
The flower tops can be added to salads, made into a jelly or dipped in batter and fried as fritters. The root and seeds can be dried and used as a tea. The roots have a carrot taste and can be used in salads or cooked like a green or vegetable.
The root of Queen Anne’s lace is like the cultivated carrot. The wild carrot root is edible while young, but quickly becomes too woody to consume.
Though I would never recommend anyone try this without the sound advice of a medical expert, I found it interesting that Queen Anne’s lace has been used as a birth control for centuries. First described by Hippocrates over 2,000 years ago, reseachh conducted on mice has offered a degree of confirmation for this use. Research suggests that wild carrot disrupts the implantation process, which reinforces its reputation as a contraceptive. Chinese studies have also indicated that the seeds block progesterone synthesis, which could explain this effect.
Note: Before picking and using, read caution and see pictures below. Extreme care must be taken in identification as the plant resembles hemlock. Pregnant women should not eat the roots or seeds of Daucus carota as they can cause uterine contractions (see the birth control information below). The leaves may also cause skin irritation (though I have never had a problem with it –and I have pretty sensitive skin).
Queen Anne's Lace Jelly
18 large Queen Anne's lace heads
4 Cups water
1/4 Cup lemon juice (fresh or bottled)
1 Package powdered pectin
3 1/2 Cups + 2 Tbsp. sugar
Bring water to boil. Remove from heat. Add flower heads (push them down into the water). Cover and steep 30 mins. Strain.
Measure 3 Cups liquid into 4-6 quart pan. Add lemon juice and pectin. Bring to a rolling boil stirring constantly. Add sugar and stir constantly. Cook and stir until mixture comes to a rolling boil. Boil one minute longer, then remove from heat.
Add color (pink) if desired. Skim. Pour into jars leaving 1/4" head space. Process in hot water bath for 5 mins.
Makes about 6 jars.
The root of Queen Anne’s lace is like the cultivated carrot. The wild carrot root is edible while young, but quickly becomes too woody to consume.
Wild Carrot Cake
From The Wild Vegetarian Cookbook
Wild carrots are especially good in carrot cake because they provide more flavour than commercial carrots do, and they're still crunchy after cooking.
Unlike the usual cakes, in this recipe you add the icing before you bake the cake.
Icing
Two 19-ounce packages silken tofu, drained
3/4 cup dates, chopped
1/4 cup fresh lemon or lime juice
2 tablespoons arrowroot or kudzu
2 tablespoons fresh bread crumbs
1 tablespoon almond oil
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon liquid stevia or 2 tablespoons honey, barley malt, or rice syrup
1/2 teaspoon orange extract
1/2 teaspoon salt
Cake
4 cups (19 ounces) sweet brown rice flour and 4 cups (1 pound) oat flour, or 35 ounces any whole-grain flour
1 cup arrowroot or kudzu
3/4 cup plus 3 tablespoons freshly ground flaxseeds (6 tablespoons seeds)
2 teaspoons freshly ground star anise
1 teaspoon freshly ground coriander seeds
1 1/2 teaspoons freshly grated nutmeg
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 1/4 cups plus 2 tablespoons apple juice
1 cup corn oil or other vegetable oil
1/4 cup fresh lime or lemon juice
1/2 cup lecithin granules
2 teaspoon liquid stevia
1 1/2 cups raisins
1 1/2 cups wild carrot taproots, grated
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
2. To make the icing: In a food processor, combine the icing ingredients and process until smooth.
3. To make the cake: Mix together the flour, arrowroot, ground flaxseed, spices, salt, and baking soda in a large bowl.
4. In a blender, combine the apple juice, corn oil, lime juice, lecithin granules, and liquid stevia and process until smooth. Mix the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients, being careful not to overmix. Stir in the raisins and grated wild carrots.
5. Divide the batter evenly between 2 oiled 12-inch round cake pans. Pour the icing over the cake batter in each pan. Bake the cakes until the bottom of each one is lightly browned, about 40 minutes. Let the cakes cool on wire racks before serving.
MAKES 2 CAKES
Be sure to make a definate identification of any plant your picking to eat. Queen Anne's lace had a distinctive white flower with a single red/purple dot in the middle of the flower.
Both poison hemlock and fool's parsley smell nasty; just roll some leaves between your thumb and forefinger, and smell.
Wild carrot, especially the root, smells like (you guessed it) carrots. Also, the stem of the wild carrot is hairy, and the stem of poison hemlock is smooth.
The first year leaves of the carrot on the left and the leaves of Hemlock on the right.
Chicory: more than a weed
Chicory is a hardy perennial with a long, fleshy taproot, a rosette of leaves, and a branched flower stalk topped with pale blue flowers. It can be grown from seed in the garden, but there is enough of it around our place growing wild that I have yet to bother putting it in the garden.
Though considered a weed by most, the plant has many uses. Chicory was cultivated in Egypt 5000 years ago and is mentioned in the oldest complete herbal written by the Greek physician Dioscorides. In the US, it served as cattle and sheep fodder and was added to salads and medications.
The leaves can be used fresh in salads or cooked like spinach. If you plant the roots in a dark area you can grow tender pale leaves, often called Belgian endive.
The roots can be collected in the fall, dried and ground and used as caffeine free coffee substitute. Though I haven’t tried this, I intend to this fall. If it tastes good and is easy enough to do, I may make a permanent bed of chicory in the garden.
Though the flower petals are edible, be warned, the pollen of composite flowers is highly allergenic and may cause reactions in sensitive individuals. Sufferers of asthma, ragweed, and hay fever should not consume composite flowers, and may have extreme allergies to ingesting any flowers at all.
Although I might sprinkle a few pedals over a salad to add some color, I mainly use these beautiful blue flowers to press for later use in hand made cards or framed the dried flowers to give as gifts.
Chicory can be also be used as a dye to furnish orange or blue colors in wool.
Though chicory is said to have medicinal uses, I hate to recommend a medicinal use that I am not sure is tried, true or healthy. If you consult a reputable source for directions and information, I am sure you’ll find many uses of this weed-herb-plant for teas and antiseptic rubs.
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